My Pain is…

I haven’t added a new post in a bit because I’ve been dealing with some pretty intense pain. Hopefully my doctor will be able to actually provide some relief at my appointment tomorrow. I’m pretty sure most of us Spoonies know that there is no guarantee of improvement at a doctor’s visit, but my fingers are crossed.

Pain is a tricky thing, especially when it’s chronic. It doesn’t just dwell in the injured area. No, it spreads into your mind and soul, stealing your joy, hope, and sense of self. When the pain is at its strongest, it can feel as though nothing else exists except the pain and me. It’s cruel, isolating, deceptive, and relentless.

In my brief reprieves from the pain over the last few days, I decided to explore this idea of pain and how I could use words to capture how it feels to be under attack from your own body. Occasionally, my mind thinks in verse instead of prose, and this was one of those times. So, I present to all of you my poem about my pain.

My Pain is…

My pain is…

an uninvited guest

that overstays its welcome.

It greedily combs

through my life,

taking all I have to offer

and more.

Even when I think it’s gone,

I find it has left crumbs behind

to remind me that

it’s always with me.

 

My pain is…

a weighted shroud,

a suffocating film

that spreads across my body

devouring

every

inch.

It’s crafted of broken glass,

jagged shards

woven together to create

a tapestry of nightmares.

 

My pain is…

an unforgiving fog.

It descends on me,

blocking out all light.

Hiding my thoughts

behind the cloud.

There they stay,

just out of reach,

waiting

for a momentary break

in the assault on my body.

 

My pain is…

a cold, twisting, metallic hand.

It wraps me in its embrace,

an ever-tightening grip,

and pulls me

down,

down,

down where I cease to be

and only the pain

survives.

 

My pain is a thief of all I used to be.

My pain is a whisper of lost dreams.

 

My pain is not all there is of me.

 

I hope you enjoyed this post! I’d love to hear how other Spoonie Warriors would describe their pain. Leave me a comment or connect with me on social media to let me know what your pain is to you.

 

2017 spooniewarrior.com

SaideeWynn

I am a mother, partner, teacher, daughter, writer, and blogger. I'm working on turning my private hobby into a public one, whether the public asked for it or not. I have a BA in theatre and a Master's in Education (with a Montessori integration), making me a highly overqualified internet ranter.

2 thoughts on “My Pain is…

  • June 6, 2017 at 5:48 pm
    Permalink

    You expressed exactly what I feel. My friends will say your letting your pain control you. What choice do I have? I’m like a child asking permission to do things. “May I please go play with my nieces today?” My pain answers,” sure play catch with the dog, and crawl on the floor to play, but you won’t be able to move for the next 3 days without crying. Don’t worry I will be around to say, I warned you.”

    Reply
    • June 6, 2017 at 5:55 pm
      Permalink

      We always have to pay heavily for doing the things we want to do. Love, hugs, and spoons to you! ❤❤

      Reply

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